Good mantra, bad mantra
One of my clients recently described that she has a constant “mantra” that guides her response to situations. I usually describe these thoughts as personal “themes” or as “intents.” The use of the word mantra was very effective. A mantra can be a useful guide; however, a mantra can also be the central cause of a personal problem.
A mantra of “I strive for perfection” can lead to great achievement. A mantra of “I must be perfect” can lead to impossible expectations and either denial of reality or perpetual failure. A mantra of “I accomplish a lot and people rely on me” can lead to confidence while a mantra of “why does it always have to be me” can lead to a constant manipulation of others. A mantra of “I will be my best” can lead to lifetime growth while the mantra “not like dad” may lead to rigidity that works sometimes but not others.
One of the hallmarks of emotional health is flexibility. A good check on personal health is to think of your own mantra(s). Are they flexible and growth oriented, or do they get you boxed into actions that damage relationships? It’s worth a check.