In some sense the process for changing you is simple. You get where you are through the experiences you have in your life. You get to a new place by having new and different experiences in your life.

I purchased an updated version of Rollo May’s very fine book, Love and Will. My first copy was purchased at the annual book sale in Hyde Park, was already worn when I got it, and is now very well worn.
 
I flipped to the section titled Love and Will, finding this quote:
 

Both love and will are [...]

One of my clients recently described that she has a constant “mantra” that guides her response to situations. I usually describe these thoughts as personal “themes” or as “intents.” The use of the word mantra was very effective. A mantra can be a useful guide; however, a mantra can also be the central cause of [...]

It seems that structure has pushed its way into my thought processes recently. I had feeds (blogger speak for input) from several sources including: my personal desire to get more focused, a post on having a strategy, a news item on sleep, my boss, and my own training. Sometimes it takes a lot to get [...]

I thought I would write a brief post about how counselors can become frustrated… actually, how I can become frustrated. I think what bothers me most when I do counseling are those times when I see a possible solution but then, for any number of reasons, the client decides to stop before the finish.
Hackney and [...]

 
Every now and then I get that “sinking feeling” that I just missed doing something that I either intended to do or more importantly, really needed to do. The feeling is so unpleasant that at times I would rather not even be aware that I missed something. However, given that I see emotion as information [...]

Sometimes I like small examples best, especially if they are personal, and especially if I am the one who learns something. I had one of those moments this morning when I took a microsecond for self observation, one of the tools everyone needs to have on hand.
Two things came together. One, at times I am [...]

One assumption counselors make is that what we see is just a surface. We think about peeling layers of an onion, each layer adds new meaning. However, even the first layer can be misinterpreted unless we ask carefully. Assuming we can tell what is going on merely by observation is an easy trap to fall [...]

“Them that know… know that they know. Them that don’t know…they don’t know they don’t know.”

Dem Dat Know by Maria Muldaur

I brought my new kitten home from The Anti-Cruelty Society on Thursday, thinking she would settle in for a couple of days and then we would play kitten games. Well… she has been sick so [...]

We were finishing a series of sessions and my client had done very well. He accomplished all of his goals concerning an anger issue. Then we talked about how counseling could help a lot of people and that the way counseling went wasn’t what my client had expected.
The compliment… “It wasn’t weird or anything.”
I’ll take [...]