In an earlier article I describe the definition of Wisdom as “seeing through illusion.” It is interesting that in Anxiety Disorders and Phobias: A cognitive perspective (1985) Aaron Beck talks about “major maladaptive assumptions” that people make and use to understand the world around them. When over-used these maladaptive-assumptions become a client’s “major concern” and are the subject of therapy. The maladaptive assumptions Beck is talking about sound very much like “illusions” to me. They are a “faulty” or “illusory” picture of reality.

Beck proposes methods for “restructuring” these major concerns. It makes sense to me that the result of restructuring these maladaptive-assumptions (illusions) would be to “see through” them. That is, the result of therapy that restructures faulty assumptions is “wisdom. “ Now… that is cool.

What are my illusions? Beck outlines three areas and some of the maladaptive-assumptions people make that result in “major concerns.” These “illusions” are worth thinking about:

Acceptance

1. I have to be cared for by someone who loves me.
2. I need to be understood.
3. I can’t be left alone.
4. I’m nothing unless I’m loved.
5. To be rejected is the worst thing in the world.
6. I can’t get others angry at me.
7. I have to please others.
8. I can’t stand being separated from others.
9. Criticism means personal rejection.
10. I can’t be alone.

Competence

1. I am what I accomplish.
2. I have to be somebody.
3. Success is everything.
4. There are only winners and losers in life.
5. If I’m not on top, I’m a flop.
6. If I let up, I’ll fail.
7. I have to be the best at whatever I do.
8. Others’ successes take away from mine.
9. If I make a mistake, I’ll fail.
10. Failure is the end of the world.

Control

1. I have to be my own boss.
2. I’m the only one who can solve my problems.
3. I can’t tolerate others telling me what to do.
4. I can’t ask for help.
5. Others are always trying to control me.
6. I have to be perfect to have control.
7. I’m either completely in control or completely out of control.
8. I can’t tolerate being out of control.
9. Rules and regulations imprison me.
10. If I let someone get too close, that person will control me.