I thought I would write a brief post about how counselors can become frustrated… actually, how I can become frustrated. I think what bothers me most when I do counseling are those times when I see a possible solution but then, for any number of reasons, the client decides to stop before the finish.

Hackney and Cormeir (2001) define counseling as “A progressive movement toward an ultimate conclusion, that being the resolution of the life-event that precipitated the need for counseling.”

My personal preference is always to finish what I begin. For anyone who uses personality type (I like Tieger & Barron’s approach), the last letter of the four letter code in that system is either a J or a P. In broadest terms the P indicates a preference for open ended activity, for process, for starting projects. The J indicates a preference for completion, structure, finishing what we start. J’s are very goal oriented.

I think of my type as INTJ. The N is strong and the J may be even a bit stronger. No surprise here, I like very much that counseling has an “ultimate conclusion.” It feels great to help someone work on a problem. It feels even better to take that problem to resolution!

Because of this, I have started to let my clients know (I probably sternly lecture them) that counseling has a beginning, a middle, and an end. They will get the most out of counseling if they participate in all three parts of the process. Of course I am thinking, so we can get to the J piece, the resolution! If you read my last post, you will recognize that the beginning is exploration, the middle is insight, and the end is action.

Fortunately my interests and the client’s best interest are coincident in this matter. If I finish, they finish. The client finds a resolution to the “life-event that precipitated the need for counseling.” I get the satisfaction of feeding my Jness. This is a real a win-win! So (I say sternly), when you start counseling, continue to resolution (please), especially if you are my client!